Who wants to see my corned beef gash?!!
Ever waiting for your ride on a cold winter morning, only to find you can’t get up because your chubby cooter lips spilled out through the torn crotch of your pantaloons and your hot, steamy piss flaps are now STUCK to the cold, metal traffic barrier?!
Mammy looking festive in her Halloween getup!
Tammy as Velma….again!
Rest in Peace sweet Mrs. G. (Charlotte Rae 1926-2018)
How would we ever have made our way through this world without your guidance, love and delicious apple strudel?!
Can someone come over and help me put my pants on? Quickly, because it’s starting to smell like ass in here!
I just ate 2 dozen everything bagels and the fallen poppy seeds immediately stuck to my sweaty flesh. Just an FYI that you’ll have something to snack on later tonight when you come over to love me down.
I picked up some seasonal work at a new place in town. They offered to pay me with pastries and coffee to sit out front, wave and hold a sign. I really wanted to shine, so I decided to strip down and showcase my very own blue waffle. My advertising tactics didn’t last long though. In less than 20 minutes, I caused 3 car accidents, shit my pants from the free coffee overload and got chased off the property with a fire hose.
How was I supposed to know they actually sold the kind of waffles you eat? Well, technically you can eat my blue waffle too…if you dare. 😉 Any takers?
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