CHRIS TORNADO

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FUN FACTS ABOUT CHRIS TORNADO

  • One day Chris Tornado walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
  • The phrase “balls to the wall” was originally conceived to describe Chris Tornado entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.
  • Think of a hot woman – Chris Tornado did her.
  • Who let the dogs out? Chris Tornado let the dogs out.
  • There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chris Tornado.
  • Kenny G is allowed to live because Chris Tornado doesn’t kill women.
  • Chris Tornado can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.
  • Chris Tornado went to the Virgin Islands . . . Now there just “The Islands”.
  • Chris Tornado is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape – He claims “6 Feet of Fun” is actually the trademark for his penis.
  • Chris Tornado’s sperm can penetrate 13 condoms, the birth control pill, a brick wall, and the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line in order to impregnate a woman.
  • Chris Tornado does not have pubic hair, he has a groin beard.
  • Chris Tornado is the only person in history to have went black and went back.
  • Chris Tornado lost his virginity before his dad did.
  • Chris Tornado is not hung like a horse – horses are hung like Chris Tornado.
  • Chris Tornado does not teabag the ladies – He potato-sacks them.
  • When Chris Tornado has sex with a man, it won’t be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
  • Chris Tornado invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
  • Chris Tornado is responsible for China’s over-population; He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
  • In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chris Tornado. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
  • When Chris Tornado says “More cowbell”, he MEANS it.
  • It is scientifically impossible for Chris Tornado to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
  • Chris Tornado invented the internet. . . just so he had a place to store his porn.
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