This cold weather has really got me missing those warm summer days
when I could show off my midriff without icicles forming from my gunt sweat.
Oh dear. I can’t seem to find the pizza delivery boy!
He put the pizzas on the coffee table and then he disappeared!
What if he’s hiding somewhere in my house, waiting to rob me or rape me?!!
Ever scratch your butt and smell your fingers? It’s amazing how the smell of your dookie can penetrate your undies and yoga pants…and the day has just begun!
Btw, I’m waiting for my Lyft ride to Dunkies on Main Street. If anyone wants to come down and finger my donut hole, I’d be happy to oblige.