Today, I plan to be as useless as the “G” in lasagna!

I hate double standards, but I love double cheeseburgers!

Don’t forget that breakfast is the most important meal of the day….just before brunch, lunch, linner, dinner, late night grazing and of course, sleep eating!

Don’t leave your pets, children or mothers locked inside or strapped to the roof of hot cars!

Heat Kills!

Why won’t you people support me?!! Everyone else is begging for a handout, so why can’t I?

As able bodied as I am, it’s still difficult to accomplish some daily tasks. Having said that, an itchy asshole always puts me in a foul mood. Won’t someone come wash my crack so I can actually enjoy my day?