My beautiful, strong daughter Tammy spent the afternoon shoveling out her truck just so she could get me to McDonalds to feed my sudden Big Mac attack! It was all fun and games until she took me to the mall parking lot to do donuts (against my will!). She spun her truck around so violently that I slammed my head against the window, causing me to bite my tongue and then I couldn’t properly enjoy my sandwiches on account of a swollen, chewed up tongue! I’m so over this storm!! Fuck you snow!

Not even 3 feet of snow is gonna keep me from getting my Slim Jims and Lotto tickets!

I met with a career counselor today and…not to toot my own horn or anything, but …

I’m pretty sure she was more into ME than my resume! Yeahhhhheahhhh!

The Museum of Fine Arts in Boston asked Mammy to display her fupa for a few hours each week to educate the public and promote fat acceptance. She doesn’t get paid, but she does hope all this exposure will get her laid!

Not again, goddammit! How the hell is a woman supposed to find love

when all the dating websites keep kicking her off?!

It’s friggin’ freezing out! So, not unlike most other days…I am not leaving the house!

My thoughts and prayers are with every single food delivery person

I shamelessly send into the polar vortex.

Help Spread My Girth Across the Earth!

This crowd better stand back, cuz they’re about to get wet …

in more ways than one.