I’m thinking of letting my fupa grow out this winter. What do you guys think?
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All posts for the month September, 2014
Anyone know of a good lawyer who works for cheap? I’m also gonna need a plumber to unclog my shitter after all the evidence I ate works it’s way through my system.
Summer is officially over. So I’m finally throwing out all the soiled mattresses I’ve gone through in the past 2 months. Between excessive sweating, peeing a little when I sneeze, and all of you making me so goddamn moist down there…. it’s been one expensive summer!
It’s TOE SUCKING TUESDAY! Any interested parties please don’t arrive before noon. I gotta take a ride through the car wash and get my big toes waxed.
Per usual, you are allowed to use condiments but no meat products. Any residue left between my toes tends to attract gnats and who needs that when I’ve already got seagulls circling my cooter!
WOMEN: PLEASE! THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 11th IS WALK NAKED IN AMERICA DAY … and I am so fucking ready!
As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked and if he does, he must commit suicide.
So on September 11th, at 10:00 A.M. Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.
All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not Muslim terrorist sympathizers. Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your patriotism.
The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
I hope you all had a wonderful Sunday Funday like our family did! We had a house warming get together for Clive at his new apartment in Lowell. We ordered pizzas, got shitfaced, watched the Pats game and had a good old fashioned family tickle fight! Although things got a little awkward when Christopher got a woody and then my kids pig piled on top of me which forced out a massive queef that cleared out the room! I never saw Tammy’s fat ass move so fast!
Normally I join the sexy, mustached Father Donohue on Sunday afternoons for a 1 on 1 bible study where I stare at his crotch and eat all the communion wafers when he’s not looking, but he’s been out recovering from a hernia operation.
But I must say, I am thoroughly enjoying his temporary replacement Father Julio who came straight from Miami!
Well, I shouldn’t say “straight” since he tore his shirt open at the sight of my naked Jesus painting and yelled “Ay, dios mio!”
Oooh those latinos are so spicy!! Holy fuck, I think I’m in love.
Many of you often wonder how we manage to keep ourselves well fed, living on a fixed income.
Well, now you know!!
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