My Doctor’s scare tactics won’t work on me.
A shitload of food is coming your way, ladies! Now, it’s time for you to pay up!
IT’S DINNER TIME for me and Mr. Pickles! We need to change it up after a long weekend of eating BBQ foods. We are so ready to pig out on pizza instead! 8 for me, 2 for him! Mangia my fat little furball. Mangia!
Memorial Day weekend is here and I’m ready to let loose!!! The kids are almost done digging out the hot tub for our party. I hope you all can make it! There won’t be any chlorine in this hot tub so try to keep your spunk outside the water. Thanks
Looking for some hot bitches to spend the holiday weekend partying with. We filled in the swimming hole in the back yard and I’ll be busting out the inflatables.
Come one, CUM ALL!
MAMMY & STAY PUFT VS GODZILLA
Yeah, you can shut the frigg up and get the hell out of my way. I’ve got shit to buy.
I’d like to share my greatest accomplishment to date! I did this all on my own, and didn’t need anyone’s help!
Blind dates can be SO awkward sometimes!
You could’ve made the most of it by doing a few squats on it, though. Just saying.
I bet none of you assholes got a wicked awesome Mother’s Day gift like I did! My new summer love shack even came equipped with a vat of Crisco to grease me up before squeezing through that tiny door!
Who wants to be my first victim?
My Lesbaru has AWD – cuz I like to do it on all fours!
Tammy and Chris took off running and left me stranded there,
unfed and thankfully uninjured, (not that they even asked!)
At least there was a quarter keg left to wet my gullet til the cops arrived.
**WILL TRADE BLOW JOB FOR BAIL MONEY