It is our annual turkey day tradition to wheel our food and drinks 3 blocks over to Grammy Tornado’s house, picking up other family members along the way resulting in what the neighbors refer to as The Tornado Thanksgiving Day Parade. Shades are drawn, children’s eyes are covered, and as you can see the cops are usually called.  Thankfully Christopher is a charming little turkey, so they let us off with a warning again…for my golf cart full of boxed wine, the keg in a wheelbarrow and Clive’s lack of clothing among other things!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING, I LOVE YOU ALL!

They say black is slimming. So I plan to look my thinnest while filling my belly to the fullest tomorrow!

It’s only Monday, but I’m already camped out in the kitchen…excited that there are only 3 more days until the official holiday where it is socially acceptable for me to stuff my face with any and every kind of food placed in front of me! I’m gonna pig out fast n’ furious … until partially digested food starts to ooze out of all my holes. And then I’m gonna eat a little more.  I spent this past weekend training and stretching my gunt in preparation for Thanksgiving. Bring it!

You all better keep your mouths SHUT or I’ll be forced to stuff them full of fupa to keep you quiet!

I love my private Sunday bible studies with Father Donohue! We keep it casual and very friendly.

Jesus loves me, this I know. Father Donohue’s tongue tells me so!

Goddammit, I can’t even have a friend over for dinner without one of my horny brats hovering around like a dog begging for table scraps!! I’m just waiting for her to sniff her crotch too!

I may not remember much, but any time I wake up with glitter all over me – I know I had a good time. Usually I assume I got lucky with a stripper, but last night I guess I WAS the stripper!

That’s right, it’s Friday bitches! As usual, I can’t get any privacy at home so I’ll be spending the night in room 69 at Hotel Fux in Lowell, right off Rt. 495. If you’d like to stop by for some sexy time, be sure to bring an edible offering for my fupa. You know I get hungry after a wild romp. Hope to see you…and feel you soon!!

Happy Veterans Day and thank you to all those who serve our country. Without them, we would not be able to sit around on our fat asses all day posting sexy selfies (see below),  annoying Bitstrips, numerous pics of your pets and kids, or posting political drivel, bitching about the very country that allows you the right to bitch about it! Ladeefriggindahhhh! Do what’s right… show your thanks and appreciation by PORKING A VET TODAY!