Oh back when I was a thin 500lbs I’d sit in the garage and have Chris stand outside and collect money from the neighborhood hornballs while Hal slowly lifted the garage door. Just like they do in the peep shows, the men got a slow peek at my body starting from the toes up as the door opened more and more. Once the door was half way up, Clive would turn on the hose and spray me, making my body glisten as it shimmied and shuddered from the cold. Oh how I miss those days.