I’m hoping to find a well hung carny at the the Topsfield Fair this weekend! I look for the carny who runs the Tilt A Whirl. They always seem to be the equivalent of the lead guitarist in a band. HOT n’ HORNY!
Archives
All posts for the month September, 2013
By the power of FUPA…I…AM…MAMMY!
Tell me I’m pretty.
How many wives would I count as if I were to marry a Polygamist?
And what the hell…are these bitches competing for biggest fupa? They will NEVER beat me!!
**Watching Sister Wives
Thank you my sweet son Christopher for clipping my toenails this afternoon.
They were getting out of control.
I’m really building up my collection for an upcoming snack product I’ll be putting out.
Just so you know, they don’t accept WIC cards at the porn shop! There’s nothing more embarrassing than hauling your basket full of toys up to the register only to find that you can’t pay for them…and you’ve already used some of them on the way up there!
Oh back when I was a thin 500lbs I’d sit in the garage and have Chris stand outside and collect money from the neighborhood hornballs while Hal slowly lifted the garage door. Just like they do in the peep shows, the men got a slow peek at my body starting from the toes up as the door opened more and more. Once the door was half way up, Clive would turn on the hose and spray me, making my body glisten as it shimmied and shuddered from the cold. Oh how I miss those days.
I just can’t seem to fall asleep. Anyone feel like porking tonight?
I am Richard Simmons’ greatest accomplishment.
He’s been working with me for nearly 30 years.
I haven’t really lost any weight, but at this point he’s just happy to have kept me alive!
The real reason I don’t go out much…
Free internet porn is great. But you gotta support your local Porn Shops if you want to keep all those porn sluts working!
I really worry that the Hairy Bush series won’t make it to #73 if I don’t continue to spend money on them!
tornadofamilyvalues.com 