“We’ll treat you to the breakfast buffet Saturday morning” My kids said.
“We arranged your transportation” they said.
“It’s totally safe and secure” they said.
Well, thank you sooooo much for getting your drunk Uncle Don to strap me to a crane which was NOT safe and secure! Damn thing couldn’t handle this much sexy and I dangled there precariously for 3 hours, missed the fucking buffet and those straps squeezed my tender body like a tube of toothpaste and I shit myself! If anyone needs me I’ll be hiding at home, hungry, humiliated and drunk by noon.