How come the bearded dudes get all the hot chicks? Damn you underdeveloped hair follicles!
Who’s going to join me at the 2013 Boston Pride Festival on June 8th/9th?
I’ll be giving all of you gay boys a break that weekend since I’ll be able to sexually harass some fresh meat in the flesh!!
Is anyone else as excited as I am about the Golden Girls being on every night on TV Land? Every time they have a heartfelt, late night talk in the kitchen over a bowl of ice cream or a slice of pie…I eat too! It makes me feel like I’m right there with them!
Can someone help me get my pants on?
Today I learned that it’s probably not a good idea to use your mom’s dildo as a helmet topper when LARPing with a bunch of strange dudes. I’m not sure if they’re straight and want to kick my ass or if they’re gay and want to sit on my head. Either way…I RUN!
Congratulations! My body is a wonderland and you’ve won an ALL ACCESS PASS!! Let your fingers roam my mountainous flesh rolls, taste my skin tags that grow like stalagmites, probe my deepest, darkest cavities, explore my mossy cave and drink the juices that flow from my natural spring.