Even though my kids are adults now, we are continuing our family tradition of coloring Easter eggs today. But somewhere along the way, I napped out and Chris Tornado and Tammy Tornado used the food coloring to finger paint a map of the world on my fupa while I slept. FML.
Oh boy!! I finally got a job! Not a hand job, or a blow job… a REAL job at the National Report as an Advice Columnist! Please check it out and submit questions!!
Like their page on Facebook too!
Thank you Jesus for giving us so many holidays that allow chicks to dress slutty!
Why do all men try to sneak out after sex? Did the alcohol wear off? What does a girl have to do to get a little post coital snuggle time and a sandwich around here, Goddammit?!
Guess what? The Little Debbie Easter Basket Cakes are out! I’ve been snacking on them allllll day.
Just one more reason Boston is better than New York…
WE can still drink big ass sodas to quench our thirst after kicking some Yankees ass! Pussies!
Here I lay… a mountain of flesh waiting to be loved. Let your fingers explore my forbidden lands, roaming freely across my soft, dewey mound and plunging deep into my mossy cave. This land is my land, this land is your land…