Thanks to my life coach Bambi Piddleton for trying to get me in shape. But I don’t think placing the work out equipment next to food storage in your basement was such a good idea. Sorry I got a little rambunctious when I attacked the cookie shelf. I.O.U. a new shelving unit. I’ll have Tammy pick one up on her next pussy hunting trip to Home Depot.

I’m begging you people, Please don’t photograph me without asking first! It’s rude!

And if I say yes, you should take it upon yourself to treat me to an 18 inch sub as a thank you. Ungrateful bitches.

Tammy Tornado:

Shoveling out and it’s still coming down! Chris and I are building an igloo to use as a love shack since Mammy forbid us from bringing “sluts” home during the storm. She said if she’s not getting blizzard nookie then we aren’t either. But we always find a way…

I sent Chris and Tammy outside for the first round of shoveling. They asked me to stand at the window and judge who ‘shovels harder’. They don’t know it yet, but I locked the door and I’m watching LMN while I smoke the rest of the wacky tobacky they hid in the vegetable crisper. What?? It’s for my high bp…or glaucoma…or the beetus! Yes, the beetus…that’s it.