Mammy Tornado:

Looky what that hunky mailman delivered today!

My very own Mammy stickers! Let’s cover the earth with my girth!!

Chris Tornado:

The holidays can be a depressing time for some folks. Broke? Lonely? Feeling suicidal? Don’t let your vagina get the holiday blues. I’m offering up my services to those in need…I’m here for you…and you…and that chick over there…and the one next to her…no not that one, the other one…yeahhhhh…hey you wouldn’t happen to have a twin sister who’s into threesomes…no?  Ok, moving on…

Chris Tornado:

Thanks to Tammy’s big mouth, Mammy finally discovered the spoils of this weekend’s panty raid. She threw a shit fit and is making me take down the tent and get rid of the undies immediately. I had plans to start a panty trade online! (Skidmarks double the value!) Does anyone have a place I can store them temporarily?

Mammy Tornado:

I can’t believe that goddamn Furby is making a comeback. Nobody get me one! It’s Michelle Obama’s way to watch my trans fat and calorie intake…not to mention my lack of exercise will push her over the edge! Then they’ll take away my disability checks! Must destroy!!!!

Tammy Tornado:

Congratulations go out to two of my favorite dykes Phyll and Roberta who got married this past Saturday. It was a beautiful ceremony. I’d like to also apologize to my two favorite dykes for my behavior during the reception…but come on, an open bar in Tuna Town? You were just asking for it.