New Mammy vid!

Chris Tornado:

Some chick at work just sexually assaulted me in the handicap bathroom. She left me laying on the ground, half naked, feeling used and confused. She left in such a hurry that she left something behind… I will search every department on every floor until I find my Sluterella whose arm fits this crutch. I fucking love Mondays!

Hal Tornado:

Snow globes make me horny. How about you?

I apologize in advance in case Hurricane Sandy picks me up and drops me off on top of your house, car or beloved family pet.

Chris Tornado:

Mammy has locked her fat ass in the bedroom where she’s hoarding all the Halloween candy we bought for the trick or treaters.

The same thing happened last year!

I’ll be damned if my car gets egged again because Mammy made me hand out buttons from a jar because she ate all the freakin’ candy!

I’m getting in the mood! For Halloween, you perverts. (But I’m already on my back, if you want me to try and spread ’em…)

Father Donohue asked me to be an official judge at the church chili cook off this weekend! I’m so excited! But he insisted that I be weighed and measured to make sure the judge’s platform will hold me. He’s so dreamy. I’ve been praying to God all my life for a good man who will take care of me…he finally delivered. *swoooooon

http://youtu.be/u9RfRJoft4M

Mammy Tornado:

It can get so boring being confined to the sofa when my gout is acting up. But thanks to my tech savvy son Christopher, I now have a pretty neat set up where I can watch all my favorite programs at once! You caught me shaking my claw at that prairie angel, Laura Ingalls who’s friend just drown and the brat’s mother blames Laura. Now she’s holding her captive!! Oh Laura, how will you ever get out of this one??

Mammy Tornado:

This happened 25 years ago today! I remember it like it was yesterday…only because Tammy always wanted to be a star and saw how much air time Baby Jessica got by pulling this stunt! So Tam Tam dug herself a mud hole in the back yard and got her fat ass stuck in it. Her plan backfired because we didn’t even notice for the first 12 hours. Then the boys had fun throwing urine balloons at her for being such a dumb twat. Ahhh Tornado family memories.

Halloween is almost here! We know what we’re going to be, do you?

(Click on image to see larger size.)

Mammy Tornado:

Facebook is a dangerous place for a beautiful woman like me.

Chris Tornado:

Looks like I’ll be working overtime to reimburse the town of Chelmsford for another one of Mammy‘s mishaps.

She didn’t fall in a sink hole, she made one.

Twinkies…everywhere.

Tammy Tornado:

God, I can’t leave anything laying around in this house!

A big “FUCK YOU” goes out to the dickhead who shit on my yearbook!

And don’t blame the cat, because he does not eat corn, asshole!

Mammy Tornado:

No, the pumpkin is NOT puking because he’s so close to my cooter, you goddamn brats.

Chris Tornado:

While watching Halloween last night, I noticed this glorious scene. You’ll never watch it again without noticing the deep crevice.

I imagine John Carpenter yelling out “Somebody powder this camel toe! It’s time for her close up!”