Dearest Patti Santa Preziosi,
I hear you woke up to find your lawn all torn up. In case you didn’t figure it out by my Lil Deb calling card, that’s right it was ME! That’s what you get for being such a raging bitch to me! I also stole your turkey deep fryer from your patio. (I’ll return it next weekend.) Until then….muah ha haaa ha haaaaaaa! It ain’t over til the fat lady tears shit up!