Ooooh looky! I made the news!
“The Guinness Book of World Records named Pauline Potter the “winner” of the World’s heaviest woman record. Mammy Tornado claims that she has Ms. Potter beat and she demands the respect and accolades that accompany the esteemed title. However, her actual weight remains unverified. This scandal could rock the fat community like the steroids scandal rocked baseball.Could Mammy be on performance enhancing drugs causing her to fear a weigh in? Or is she just stuck on her couch?”
Dearest Patti Santa Preziosi,
I hear you woke up to find your lawn all torn up. In case you didn’t figure it out by my Lil Deb calling card, that’s right it was ME! That’s what you get for being such a raging bitch to me! I also stole your turkey deep fryer from your patio. (I’ll return it next weekend.) Until then….muah ha haaa ha haaaaaaa! It ain’t over til the fat lady tears shit up!