Oh what an exciting birthday it has been so far!
I ordered some sweets from the bakery downtown. But the real treat was the delivery man Bob! He found out it was my birthday and he offered to hand feed me.
Normally I’m not smitten by chubs, but I think I’m in love!
Not only did he have a mustache, but he incorporated food with sex – and I didn’t even have to ask!
So tomorrow is officially by birthday, but we celebrated today. My kids treated me like a queen.
Hal made 3 large pots of Hamburger Helper Stroganoff (My favorite!), and Clive made me a cake of all my favorite Hostess snacks! (Although he’s been known to add his own “icing”, so I’m going to make Chris taste it first. )
Tammy gave me a new vibrator while Chris gave me an economy size pack of D batteries to keep it going! If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he wanted to keep me preoccupied while he sneaks a few of his hussies into my house! I’m watching you Christopher! I masturbate with my eyes open!
Hal and Clive pitched in on a $50 Walmart gift card, but when I went to use it there was only $14.32 left on it.
I haven’t stopped drinking wine yet, but already I feel hungover. Ughhh. The only thing I’m missing is some birthday sex.
Anyway, thank you to all my wonderful, thoughtful children. A for effort.
Thanks to the world wide web for granting regular guys like me easy access to poon all over the world!
There’s so much out there that I don’t even have to pay for it anymore!