When I got home from work, Mammy was freaking out about dinner. According to her, she was starving and it felt like her fupa was about to turn on her if she didn’t feed it soon. So I called Dominoes and ordered her usual 10 large meat lovers pizzas and bread sticks.
I figured I had at least 30 minutes to kill before the delivery guy showed up, so I proceeded with my evening routine. I made myself a couple of fried egg sandwiches, kicked off my shoes and threw in a disc from Baywatch season 7. The episode where C.J.’s mom visits while she’s on the run from the law. MILF action!
Anyway, I know what happens when I see Pam Anderson’s slow-mo titties, and I should’ve known better than to try and eat while choking my chicken, but I was hungry … and horny.
Then, as if God was watching and determined to teach me a lesson, I took one bite of the first egg sandwich and suddenly my chicken wasn’t the only thing that was being choked!
I must’ve blacked out because when I came to, Mammy had her lips on mine, but she wasn’t blowing air into me…she was sucking it out! I felt so confused and dirty. When I pushed her off of me she sat close, breathing heavily, chewing on a chunk of egg she sucked out of my throat!
If anyone needs me, I’m gonna be hiding out in my room for the rest of the night. It’s safer down here.