I picked up some seasonal work at a new place in town. They offered to pay me with pastries and coffee to sit out front, wave and hold a sign. I really wanted to shine, so I decided to strip down and showcase my very own blue waffle. My advertising tactics didn’t last long though. In less than 20 minutes, I caused 3 car accidents, shit my pants from the free coffee overload and got chased off the property with a fire hose.